When To Sell Your Horse
When To Sell Your Horse
By Maribeth Dunlap
June 2012
“I go to the barn, groom, longe or turn-out my horse several times each week. But I never get on and ride.”
“My heart beats so fast whenever I even think about cantering.”
“I’m afraid of getting hurt and not being able to work or care for my family.”
“I want riding to be FUN - the way I remember it as a kid. Instead, all I do NOW is worry.”
“I make excuses for not going to the barn.”
“I'm afraid to ride outside of the arena.”
“Somehow, riding has lost its fun. I’m thinking about selling my horse because I dread going to the barn.”
"It just seems that everything is so difficult with my horse."
"I'm totally exhausted just trying to groom and tack my horse up."
"I stand and stand at the mounting block but I just can't get my foot in the stirrup iron."
"I feel ill just thinking about riding my horse these days."
"I just don't look forward to riding anymore."
Does any of this sound familiar? Have you thought or said any of these things or something similar to yourself? If so, then you may be riding the wrong horse. Most of us have heard that green horses and green riders don't make a good partnership. This is very true. Often people end up with a horse that really belongs in the hands of a more experienced and skilled rider. Many inexperienced folks out there make the mistake of taking in the 'free' horse or the horse that is in a rescue. These horses often come with issues and baggage and really belong in the hands of a skilled and experienced rider; someone who can safely help these horses through their problems and help them to become better horses. While all of this sounds logical and makes sense, unfortunately, it seems to be a regular occurrence and a common practice to see people riding horses beyond their skill level. And these folks are easy to spot. They often have chronic problems with their equine relationships and a myriad of issues stretching from one end to the other. They seem to constantly struggle with the same issues over and over again without ever seeing any progress made in correcting the behavior. Often the issue becomes worse while other issues pop up. It is a never ending cycle which eventually leads to frustration of both the horse and rider as the relationship deteriorates and spirals out of control. The rider has the best of intentions but not the skills to resolve them. The scenario of a rider with more horse than she can handle is a serious and dangerous issue.
The unfortunate thing about this situation is that it is a lose/lose for all concerned. The horse learns that it can get away with unacceptable behavior making that horse difficult for any rider. Truly and completely correcting certain behaviors can often be impossible and usually this horse will never be suitable for a novice or inexperienced rider.
A rider who is over-horsed or paired with an inappropriate horse most often loses confidence and may even develop fear. The rider may even lose all interest in horses out of frustration and lack of success. If the relationship isn't terminated and continues its downward spiral, injury is often unavoidable. Horses paired with riders they don't respect can exhibit many very dangerous behaviors. The more the boundaries are pushed, the more dangerous things can become. This is, of course, bad for the rider but this is also not fair or good for the horse as these horses often end up in rescues or in bad situations.
So how do you know if you are over-horsed or mis-matched? First, be honest with yourself. If you can relate to any of the sentences at the beginning then your instinct is already trying to tell you that it might be time to end the relationship with your current horse. If you're struggling with the same problems over and over and you can't get your horse through chronic behavior, then that probably means that you're over-horsed. If your horse is "good" for the trainer but "naughty" for you, it probably means that horse has your number and doesn't respect your leadership. That is another indication that it is not a good partnership and time to consider ending it.
When a rider has not yet come to terms with the possibility of being mismatched with their horse, they will sometimes make excuses or try to place the blame in other areas in a way to try to understand the problem they're faced with. Some of these excuses might include things like "poor training, need another trainer, try a new direction or discipline (jumping, dressage, western or trail riding), bad timing, bad weather, hates the bugs, mares heat cycle, etc. " However, such excuses will not fix the situation. They will only hide it and this often only makes it worse. And most often spending more money in the form of more training usually doesn't work in the end because money can't change the fundamental problem which is a negative history in the relationship between the 'horse and rider pair'. Unless the horse's behavior can be drastically changed and the rider learns the skills and gains the experience needed to deal with the old behaviors, the relationship usually cannot progress forward. Horses have long memories and this 'horse and rider pair' will still have to resolve the issues between them together.
Most of us have strong emotional attachments to our horses. We love them and attach our hopes and dreams to them. It can be devastating to have to come to terms and make tough decisions about our relationships with our horses whom we have invested so much time, energy, money, and yes, our emotions into them. For most of us, it is a heart-breaking experience to have to make such decisions. It can feel like we are betraying our horses - our friends - and giving up on them, as well as, giving up on hopes and dreams that we've attached to them. But in the end, it is most often the best and wisest thing to do. Making the decision to move on is not failure-- it is the response of a mature horseperson. And having the understanding that there is a 'right' someone out there for your horse, just as there is a 'right' horse out there for you can be very helpful in your ability to move onward and out of the relationship.
As a professional, I have the moral and professional obligation to say to my clients when I think they are mismatched with their horse. I try to help them place the horse in a good home and in responsible hands and then, if the timing is right, find them an appropriate horse - a good match - for them to learn on. It is important to be blatantly honest when trying to find a good situation for your old horse. Be open and forthcoming with every and all details (positive and negative) surrounding your reasons for wanting to find a new home for your horse. This is the responsible thing to do for the potential new owner and for your horse. You want your horse to go into a good and responsible situation. This will give your horse the best chance for a new good home and happy rider partnership. I usually recommend contacting professionals about such horses and giving them all the details about the horse and asking if they might be interested in the horse or might know of a good situation for your horse. A good responsible home should always be the priority over any money made in a potential sale with horses with chronic behavior issues. If it is an over-horsed situation, then finding a more experienced rider plus a good home should still be the priority.
Once you have found a new responsible home for your old horse, do take your time before buying another horse. I usually recommend taking some lessons for awhile to re-group, re-direct, re-energize, and re-focus. Taking lessons on a good school horse can help to restore your confidence and reset your priorities. I usually recommend at last six months to a year before buying another horse. Spend this time listing your priorities, goals, and what you would like in a new horse. When you are ready, enlist the help of your instructor, trainer, or a trusted professional, or knowledgeable friend who has your best interests in mind. Working with someone who knows your strengths, weaknesses, your goals, and your abilities will be helpful in guiding you through the process of making the 'right' match for you. Be prepared to look at a lot of horses before the 'right' one comes along. The 'right' horse should be one that will allow you to learn and progress in the discipline that you choose. He should be suitable for that particular discipline, be healthy and sound, and have three good gaits. A good mind, a good work ethic, trainability/ride ability are always at the top of my list of priorities. I want to have fun, feel safe, and make progress working with my new horse. Things like talent, color, age, etc. come next. And this gives me an idea for another topic - "what to look for in a new prospect".
Photo: Maribeth with Celio
This article was written by Maribeth in June 2012 – All Rights Reserved - Used With Permission.
